What I Learned From My First Ever Talk Show (FETS)

1. Our FETS was Young Nite, on ATN News, with Anik Khan. Anik Khan is so cool. His producer’s cool. Young Nite’s cool. Their TV studio is cool. Everything’s cool. I am decidedly un-cool in comparison to Anik Khan, his producer, his show, and his TV studio.

2. TV studio makeup people are disdainful of my face. The guy who was powdering me up said condescendingly, “You don’t use eye makeup, do you?” Immediately feeling bad about myself and my lack of eye makeup usage, I stammered, “Um, ah, no, I don’t, um? Should I?” Clearly giving up on me, he said, “No. It’s fine,” and walked away. (Okay, fine, he wasn’t actually mean at all. I was just overly sensitive before my FETS.)

3. I nod when other people talk on talk shows. When Hammad would be talking, I’d be nodding like I was making money for the KPR fund with every head bob. I didn’t realize that my dangly earrings were swinging around like birds around my head.

4. Apparently, I do not know how to speak in Bengali. I don’t know if it was nerves or what, but every second word that came out of my mouth was in English. I THOUGHT I spoke entirely in Bengali. When we watched the rerun, I was appalled at myself. I now have a goal to overcome this problem for my SETS. We’ll see how it goes.

5. I elbow Hammad when I want him to answer the question (I usually wanted him to answer the question, because I realized immediately that his articulateness makes me seem like I’m still in the babble stage.) This elbow action is entirely visible on TV.

6. Because it was our FETS, we didn’t know where to look when calls came in. So shots of both of us at that point are hilarious, because we’re both looking up, down, and all around.

7. I have the best friends in the world, across the world, who watched a live stream of my FETS despite the fact that they don’t speak a word of Bengali.

8. Abbu suggested (during Talk Show Tips, see below) that we keep our faces smiley. Unfortunately a lot of what we were talking about was suicide, depression, and the lack of easily accessible mental health resources. It’s hard to be smiley. So when anything was even remotely amusing, I SMILED REAL HARD. SMILED AND NODDED LIKE IT WAS MY JOB.

9. When someone you know calls in during your FETS, it’s REALLY REALLY FUNNY. My struggle to control laughter is also entirely visible on TV.

10. Despite the fact that the show was live at 1 am, people watched. People we know and love, and complete strangers. People thanked us. People are calling. We have more volunteer applicants that we can handle. I am very grateful to Anik Khan for hosting us so wonderfully, and to everyone who watched and is spreading the word of KPR now.

During a call. Me smothering a laugh. Hammad smiling knowingly.

During a call. Me smothering a laugh. Hammad smiling knowingly.

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